Goals Summary Wk 41

Hello Blogland!

I’m writing this before work, so my time is limited. Let’s get right to it!

Last week’s goals were:

  • Publish two blog posts
  • Madhu’s Chapters
  • The Steel Aramada chapter 3 edits
  • Start Sanctified chapter 29
  • Read The Stone Sky

How did I do? Well, there were two blog posts, including a Call for Submissions from The Audient Void! I think I actually pulled double duty on Madhu’s chapters last week, doing double the reading and editing, but I’m honestly not totally sure. I know I read at least 20 pages for her though. I finally did my edits on chapter 3 of The Steel Armada, which is proving very difficult to motivate myself to do. I also wrote about 500 words for Sanctified chapter 29, in addition to another 1800 words for an unrelated short story. So, not a bad writing week either, all things considered. I did not finish any reading last week, which is bad, because I am seriously falling behind in my Reading Challenge.

What do I want to do this week?

  • Publish two blog posts
  • Mahu’s chapters
  • The Steel Armada edits, chapters 4+5
  • Finish chapter 29 of Sanctified
  • Read Audient Void submissions
  • READ The freaking Stone Sky

So, a bit more on my plate this week. We’ll see how it goes. I’ve already read one to story for The Audient Void, and let me tell you, this is going to be an experience. There are a lot of writers out there with a lot of stories. It’s really interesting to see how different people interpret story ideas, that’s for sure.

In addition to the above, I also have some tumblr prompt fills I’ve fallen behind on, and my Inktober doodles to catch up on! So, it’s going to be a busy week!

Wish me luck, Blogland!

 

BZ

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Call for Submissions

Heya Blogland!

 

Audient Void issue 4

Issue #4, cover art by Allen Koszowski

Below is the official statement from Obadiah Baird, Editor of The Audient Void, regarding our open submissions:

 

Since the fourth issue of The Audient Void: A Journal of Weird Fiction and Dark Fantasy is now out we are opening submissions for issue #5. We are looking for quality works of poetry and short fiction.

Poetry should be Weird or darkly fantastical with strong imagery. We pay $.35 a line with a $5 minimum payable upon publication.

For short fiction our tastes are broad and we will consider anything with Weird, horrific or fantastical elements. We will consider any length work but will be much less likely to publish stories over 5,000 words. Our rate is $5 per thousand words payable upon publication.

Please note that Weird Fiction is a distinct genre. If you are unsure if your work fits please familiarize yourself with its characteristics at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki.Weird_fiction. We are not likely to be interested in stories that are simply strange or bizarre without belonging to the genres we publish.

To submit, please send your work as a .doc, .docx, or .rtf file to:

theaudientvoidmag@gmail.com

Be sure to include a header with your name and email address. We do not accept simultaneous submissions and ask that you wait for our response before submitting elsewhere. The submission deadline is November 10, please do not inquire about your submission before that deadline and understand that it may take some time to follow up on all submissions after the deadline has passed. 

I look forward to reading everyone’s work!

In addition to my usual line editing duties, I have taken on the additional role of reading submissions! So, I also look forward to reading everyone’s work!

IMG_20171012_114950

The first four issues of The Audient Void, all cover art by Allen Koszowski

To learn more about The Audient Void, or to purchase previous issues, please visit our Facebook page.

Happy Submitting!

 

BZ

Goals Summary wk 40

Hey Blogland,

So, goals.

Last week:

  • Publish 2 blog posts
  • Madhu’s chapters
  • Revise The Steel Armada chapters 2+3
  • Start chapter 28 of Sanctified
  • read The Stone Sky

Well, it wasn’t my best week, but it wasn’t my worst either. I did publish two blog posts, including the review for The Dire King. I got Madhu’s chapters done, and wrote chapter 28 of Sanctified. I only edited about half of the page I needed to for The Steel Armada, and only read about 20 pages The Stone Sky.  I did start and finish the White Night audiobook, though, so there’s that!

So, what about this week?

  • Publish 2 blog posts
  • Madhu’s chapters
  • Revise The Steel Armada chapter 3
  • Start Sanctified chapter 29
  • Read The Stone Sky

So, pretty similar to last week. But, I don’t have any obligations on Thursday, so hopefully I’ll get even more done!

I’ll be back later this week with the review for White Night. Until then, Blogland!

 

BZ

 

P.S. here’s a picture I drew for Mass Effect Inktober on Tumblr.  Enjoy my terrible artwork!

Inktober Thresher Maw

This one is my favorite so far.

Goals Summary Wk 39

Hi Blogland!

For the first time in over 6 months, I am here to share my goals with you all! It feels so good!

So, what did I set out to do last week? As follows, according to my whiteboard:

  • Publish two blog posts
  • Madhu’s chapter revisions
  • Implement TSA chapter 1 revisions
  • Finish Sanctified chapter 27
  • Apply for position at a nearby library

And… moment of truth. How did I do?

I published two blog posts, including the book review for Proven Guilty. I not only got Madhu her revisions, but also helped her prep her query letter and a fellowship application. I implemented her suggestions and revisions for The Steel Armada chapter 1, and it’s much stronger for it.  I also finished chapter 27 of my fanfic, which allowed me to post chapter 25! And I applied for that job!

So, first week back in the game and I got everything done!!! I am doing happy dances over here, just so you know.

Now, what’s the goal this week?

IMG_20171001_213448

Exhibit A of “I Cannot Draw”

  • Publish two blog posts
  • Madhu’s chapter revisions
  • Implement TSA chapters 2+3 revisions
  • Finish reading The Stone Sky
  • Start Sanctified Chapter 28

In addition to the above I have some Audient Void business this week (issue #4 is out now!), as well a month-long doodle challenge on Tumblr. I cannot draw to save my life, but it’s proving fun so far.  I also need to think about NaNo WriMo and what I’m going to do for that. If I can get Sanctified finished by then, it would really help me refocus on From the Quorum, which is the project I’d like to work on for NaNo. But, we’ll see. I’ve got this month to write about 5 chapters and get this fanfic wrapped up.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve got going on for now. Should that change, be sure you’ll hear all about it. I’ll see you soon with a book review for William Ritter’s The Dire King, the final book in his Jackaby series.

Until then, Blogland,

 

BZ

If I’m Being Honest

Okay. I’m here. I’m back in my office and I’ve updated my whiteboard for the first time in over a month. And I have to say, it feels really good. I’ve been out of sorts for months now, really since March. I have learned that I am a creature of habit, more so than I already acknowledged, and this summer has put forth a concerted effort to keep me from doing anything in any semblance of routine.

Week-long video game binges, my husband lost his job, two of my biggest music icons took their own lives, my best friend almost died, and then we had extended house guests for the first time in my life. Coupled with applying, interviewing, and being denied two full time positions at my work and really I’m just a ball of rubber-bands stretched too tight: one has got to snap eventually.

I think the only thing that kept me from snapping was all the fanfic I wrote, and the friends I made on tumblr because of it. Since mid-April, I’ve written 168,799 words of fanfiction. Just… let that number sink in. 168 THOUSAND 799 words.

Of fanfiction.

I’m still trying to convince myself that’s okay. Anyone I talk to in my personal life or online seems to find it incredible and awesome. Thanks guys! But, my writer brain is still royally pissed that all that effort and output went to fanfiction.

But, if I’m 100% honest, I really LOVED writing it, and I fully intend to finish it before the end of the year. Also, I’m going to continue to write small prompts and drabbles, because they are fun, and I need writing to be fun still. Also, this year has shown me that I am absolutely capable of writing a novel in a month (if it’s a short one).

I’m not good at being honest with others when it comes to my mental health. I internalize everything, and I am usually the “solid” person in my circle of friends. I give advice and keep my shit together. So, when I start to break under pressure, or when my mind is trying to sabotage me, I don’t feel like I have anyone to tell, other than my husband. And even then, he had just as tough a summer as I did so it was easy to convince myself not to make things harder on him by being completely honest. So, I drop hints that I’m not feeling myself, to which he’s receptive, and we commiserate about our mild depression.

Meanwhile, I’m feeling isolated, raw, and like a useless piece of shit. And it’s all my own fault. I know it is. I could just talk to someone, and feel one hundred times better. I KNOW this. And now I understand why so many people never suspect the depths of their loved ones’ depression, why so many suicides are so shocking. Because, you can KNOW what you need to do to fix things, to make yourself feel better, and it doesn’t matter. You can know it, but you’re powerless to either find the right words, or time, or simply the energy to bring it up.

I want to note that, the fact that I’m here, talking about this means I’m feeling much better and am confident that I am on the path to getting back to my old self. I also want to state that at no point this summer did I contemplate any sort of self-harm. I was/am depressed, for the first time in a way that was recognizable to me, and that has shone a light on what it must be like to battle these feelings constantly. I understand now, in my own small way, how exhausting it must be and how incredibly lonely, even if you’re good at putting on a brave face and doing things to convince others you’re okay.

I understand, and I’m so sorry anyone has to put up with these constant feelings of worthlessness, self-loathing, and loneliness. And I know that, for many people, it doesn’t end. There doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel, where someday you’ll feel good again and actually want to do something productive with your time.

And I’m so sorry, I wish I knew better how to help.

But, I’m seeing that light now, and I’m gifted days of incredible output and energy. I fully intend to make good on them.

So, later this week I will be back to talk about Proven Guilty. I’ve made some goals for the rest of the week, and if they go well, I’ll be back on Monday to do a goals summary for the first time in over six months!

Until then, Blogland,

 

BZ

Help?

Hiya Blogland,

I don’t have time to write a full book review today, but I’m feeling antsy about things so here I am.

I’ve been re-familiarizing myself with The Steel Armada before I send the first chapter off to my writing friend, and… woof. I didn’t realize I hadn’t actually done any physical edits for draft #3 on that chapter yet. There’s a lot of description and pacing issues, things that need fleshed out or better explained that I just haven’t managed to do yet.

So now the question is, do I hammer that out this weekend before I send it to her, or do I send it as is and wait to get her feedback before I make further changes?

Also, I was really confused about some discrepancies between copies of my manuscript, and so booted up the old Mac to look at the originals… So I’m typing away at Starbucks on my old computer. It’s sort of nostalgic. I have to say I do like this keyboard more; it feels better and more responsive against my fingertips. But, it’s also got about 10 years of wear to make it so… cozy.

Anyway, what should I do? A part of me just wants to dive in and make the changes. But, the rest of me figures I ought to let her see it the way it is and make sure that her feedback matches my own concerns, else I could be making changes for the wrong reasons, or just making the wrong changes.

Let me know what you suggest!

 

BZ

Emergency

Hi Blogland.

This summer has been a very trying one. My husband lost his State job in June, I was passed over for a full-time position at the library yet again, my aunts came to stay with us, and then my best friend was hospitalized this week after a nearly fatal car crash.

She was extremely lucky and suffered no broken bones, but a concussion, seven staples on the left side of her head, a small puncture in her lung, and a large liver laceration found her in the ICU. She’s home now, and resting, but it could have gone the other way so easily. I’ve been pretty shaken up over it all, and I’m still reeling if I give myself too much down time.

But, it’s getting better. I’m just exhausted.

I made a writing friend, and we’re going to exchange chapters to workshop for one another. I’m nervous, but really excited to have someone in my town that I can share writing experiences with. Wish us both luck!

Anyway, I’m exhausted and battling some sciatic nerve pain right now. My plan is to do some laundry, play Dragon Age, and get lots of sleep.

I’ll see you soon with a book review of The Glass Magician because I am flying through it, it’s so good!

Until then Blogland,

 

BZ