My mind is quiet today. I think I emptied it yesterday. I wrote 2,044 words yesterday in one sitting, and find myself staring at the computer today, wondering what it is I expect from myself.
Firstly, I woke up late. I slept through two alarms, and awoke to the neighbor’s dog barking its brains out. Just another morning. Fall is approaching, ushering out the splendid summer sun and leaving me shivering, even under our comforter. But, I’m still drinking iced coffee and complaining about my appendages being frozen.
I talked to my mom for awhile, catching up over FaceTime and killing time. So, instead of getting to work before noon, as per my usual schedule, I didn’t leave the house until 12:30. The whole drive I debated what I should have for lunch. Chipotle? No, it’s always packed between 12-1. Muchas Gracias? No, just passed it. Jimmy John’s? Had that yesterday. Ok, what about McDonald’s? Maybe, if the line’s not too long.
Well, the line was ridiculous, so I ate at work instead. A bacon breakfast sandwich and a protein plate. Probably the best dietary decision I’ve made lately, but somehow it’s just not as satisfying.
So, I’m sitting in the lobby, freezing as I sip my venti iced coffee, trying to focus enough to start the last chapter.
And there’s the problem. It’s the LAST CHAPTER. How is that even possible? Over six months of my life, and especially the last three, I have lived and breathed this novel. And I’m about to end it? What will I do with myself?
I know that I have a plan. That there are other stories that need working on. And still I’m terrified to put an end to this novel.
And thrilled. I’m actually going to finish the rough draft of a novel! But, I don’t think today is the day. My brain isn’t quite here. I know that’s a sad excuse, but I did write over 2,000 words yesterday, I think I can skip a day.
I don’t know. Even as I’m trying to decide to set the novel aside today, my brain wakes up and says, ‘oh yeah, we were finishing that today, weren’t we?’
But, it’s 1:15. I start work at 3:30. I’m running short on time. So, I guess I’ll wrap this up and try to finish my novel today.
Finish my novel.
Sorry, I just wanted to say that one more time.
Wish me luck,